Friday, 28 December 2007

romantic embelishments of real life

surely you must be sick of telly by now (and don't call me shirley) so how's about a go at creating your own pictures in your clever old noggins as you listen along to the most marvelous sherlock holmes adaptations you'll find anywhere ever great detective or not.
originally broadcast on radio four and starring clive merrison and michael williams the whole darned collected stories now live in a big box of cassettes that i'd carry with me always if i had a bag big enough but instead are guarded by particularly vicious monsters under the bed. i assume there are cds of them these days and i can't recommend them enough.
it's watson that is the heart of these for me - his honour and loyalty and love for his friend, and the best stories by far centre on the relationship between him and holmes rather than some mad impossible mystery or foul crime. and i love how they exist as fictional characters within the stories themselves, how we're being let into their real lives. oh and all sorts of other things. i'm rubbish at explaining why i like stuff, especially when i'm not in a dingy boozer with a glass or three of something lovely.
so listen for yourselves.

the casebook of sherlock holmes - the lion's mane

Tuesday, 25 December 2007

it's a cracker

two cannibals are eating a clown.
one says to the other "does this taste funny to you ?"


Monday, 24 December 2007

okay so i'm a last minute just in the nick of time kinda gal but my attention span barely stretches seven inches so my xmas excitement only starts about now with today overflowing with panic, increasingly drunker shopping, and shoddy wrapping. and an xmas howdy doodie to y'all.

i can't bear festive tunes as a strictly observed rule, not even the elvis xmas lp, but the ronettes sound like they'd cut you up bad if you didn't get all noely with them, and like they're singing chewing gum with a fag in one hand and a bottle of bourbon in the other. and let's not think about the switchblade in the beehive. and there's definately a london accent mixed in there somewhere. it's lovely weaver for a sleigh ride togever wiv you. not in manchester it ain't obviously. it's bleedin' raining.

ronettes - sleigh ride

and like good ol' bltp i've got a soft spot for hem. they gave this little beauty away last year.

hem - have yourself a merry little christmas

Friday, 21 December 2007

thankyou my dears

a hundred posts. who'd've thought it. i blame you lot. i'd've lost interest in this ages ago if you hadn't kept writing stuff that thrilled and tickled and moved me and introduced me to songs and books and films and ideas that i'm amazed i ever got by with without. you're ace. so thankyou.

these are a very small, but especially treasured, bunch of tunes from the last few months that i'm madly grateful for in case anyone missed them. fantabulosa!

planet mondo for the flirtations - nothing but a heartache

iron leg for glen campbell - guess i'm dumb

pogo a gogo for wild billy childish and the buff medways - medway wheelers

the ghost of electricity for tom waits - grapefruit moon

for chuck jackson & maxine brown - love is a hurting thing

there's a squillion more, marvelous stuff everyday, that i could fill pages with, but i've got packing to do and xmas shopping to panic about and a trip to the seaside to fit in...

bona lavs duckies


photo by squid ink

Monday, 17 December 2007


okay my sweet lovely treasures

the winner is....

(of the first of many cos i've got all carried away with it intros competition if you've not been keeping up)


so it goes
teenage kicker steve with 9 ! hoorah !

and those pesky tunes were ...

michael jackson - rock with you
human league - being boiled
jackie wilson - i get the sweetest feeling
stiff little fingers - suspect device
the tornados - telstar
bernard cribbins - right said fred
roy orbison - only the lonely
glen campbell - rhinestone cowboy
gang of four - love like anthrax
the shangri la's - give him a great big kiss

i thought they were blindingly obvious despite the mrs's protestations but it turns out she was right (as usual) and no one, not a sausage, got the gang of four one apart from spud who guessed right but didn't know the song. i've always thought of anthrax as kind of their signature tune but what the hell do i know...
and only steve got rock with you. which was super easy. really really super easy. really.

just listen. and dance.

michael jackson - rock with you

young gifted and black. and with at least a bit of his soul intact. the poor old sod.

anyway thank you ever so my dears for all your sterling efforts. i hope it all took up valuable work hours. just rememember you're all winners in my book. but steve gets a prize winging it's way to south korea.

in case anyone's feeling left out how's about a bit of the orange juice record prize to cheer you

orange juice - intuition told me

thanks again everyone. i love you all.

Thursday, 13 December 2007

glitter ball

to ease your quiz weary brains and get your move busting areas loose and lovely a block party classic.

unlimited touch - i hear music in the streets

be careful now or you'll do yourself an injury

Sunday, 9 December 2007

pop quiz hotshot

win win win

do you want this record ?

some poor misguided soul gave orange juice's heroic butchering of al green to the oxfam shop and in another of our fantabulosa giveaways you can be the lucky blighter to give the little treasure a new home. i'm excited myself and i've already got a copy...

all you have to do my sweets is guess some intros from your favourite pop hits. easy peasy. there's ten of them and if you've got my records you'll be laughing. apart from at the sad ones obviously.

super spectacular intros competition

so hey ho let's go... answers to the usual and i'll pick a winner at random if there's a draw.
leave a comment if you like and let us know how many you got (but don't put the answers so everyone else can join in)


Saturday, 1 December 2007

bona broadcasting

i know i know i'm a lazy good for nothing nogoodnik who never gets round to nuffink and we're getting so behind here it's ridiculous but what the hell eh? bugger it. we'll get there in the end and what with kenneth off with that windsor woman again up to heaven knows ...

the bona school of polari presents

j ain't up to much i'm afraid. a bit like i. and h come to think of it.
we could try

jarry meaning eat or food, short for mangarie, but it's not all that really is it. sorry about this.
at least on civvy street we get

everyone's favourite for bosoms.

we'll be back on track with k i promise duckies.

on a night out in dire bar eating awful food recently someone actually came out with " god you don't still listen to the june brides do you ?". really they did, honest. i know. it's amazing isn't it ? i mean it's a funny old world i know but really... i suppose it's possible, i mean if you've had a bonk on the noggin and forgotten about everything fantastic that you could not still listen to the june brides but it'd have to've been a pretty massive bonk. a piano falling on you or something at the very least.
so in the spirit of goodwill and all and as a special favour to all those poor amnesiacs and everyone else who might've lost their way let's june brides ...

the june brides - josef's gone

and i can't be the only one who hears some of lambeths finest in this chicago heartbreaker can i?

ten city - that's the way love is

as a sleek and stylish young thing i trolled about all over the godam place with a carrier bag full of fanzines and a heart filled with joy whenever the june brides were there too. gawd bless em.

that should do it - feeling better now i hope sweethearts. smashing.

now buy the every conversation best of here

and just cos we can't possibly do j without him and so at least there's the merest hint of hard working round here ...

the j.b's - bring it up

j.b's comin' through