are you ready ? are you ready for this ?

straight to it no messing about all this drizzle is making my hair go frizzy and i've got pints day at the french to get ready for...

the answers to the spring 2008 dustysevens introductions competition are

lyn collins - think
frankie valli - the night
the beat - stand down margaret
the clash - white man in hammersmith palais
shirley bassey - light my fire
eric b and rakim - follow the leader
the supremes and the temptations - i'm gonna make you love me
the jam - boy about town
neil diamond - sweet caroline
the miracles - love machine

and the winner with a fabulosa eight and a half right answers won't be crying all the way to the chipshop today that's for sure. oh yes it's everyones favourite contintental chelsea supporter step right up mr london lee ! your althea and donna 45 prize will be in the post.

my picture clues obviously didn't help a bit even though i thought everything this time was a bleedin' doddle. there's rattling on about all the featured tunes to come when i've sobered up but till then listen and groan and go i knew it was that really a lot. and thanks for joining in duckies
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click to hear the intros

intros competition two

and press play for the full tracks

spring has sprung

it's cold and damp and a bit horrid and i think we saw ball lightening last night just next to centrepoint (well it was that or space aliens) but it's spring. spring people! in no time we'll be reveling in the joy of smoky boozers but this time outside and i'll be panicking cos all my favourite clothes are wooly and it looks like it's going to be chipshop lee who'll be uptown and top ranking and parading his althea and donna prize triumphantly unless anyone else gets it together double quick. to get you all proper excited and revved up for tomorrows prize giving and celebrations let's go back to the where they got the tune from classic and the studio one soul sensation mr alton ellis. jeez the man can sing.

alton ellis - i'm still in love with you

that's it that's all

i'm better now really. i'm all clued out. the picture here goes with yesterdays clues though. then that's it honest it is.

so far the standings go

london lee - eight and a half
planet mondo - seven and three halves
spud - six and two halves
davy h - five and a half

i bet you're on the edge of your seat aren't you. i know i am.

i'm sorry i haven't a clue - barry cryer, tim brooke-taylor, graeme garden, jeremy hardy, humphrey lyttleton

and if you need to brush up your moves for your saturday night watch and learn...

just shoot me

i've got all carried away and hysterical and just like the four tops i can't help myself... now wheres my pills ?

one last terrible awful ashamed of myself clue



edwin starr - stop her on sight

intros answers on monday i promise
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give us a clue two

every picture tells a story (apparently)



now with clues like that you can't miss surely

and to sooth your troubled brains

the association - never my love

who i'd never heard till anne at i like mentioned them and her love of harmonies and now i'm hooked too. swoon some.
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give us a clue

so it's intros clue time already duckies and what with all the huffing and puffing and struggling that's been going on i reckon it's just in the nick of time. now i sure ain't no lionel blair but i'll do my best. like humphrey lyttleton always says, there's no beating lionel...

'The master of give us a clue was undoubtedly lionel blair, and who will ever forget him, exhausted and on his knees, finishing off an officer and a gentleman in under two minutes?'

so you all know where you're at the current entries go

spud 6 and two halfs
davy h 5 and a half
london lee 8 and a half

i know. pitiful isn't it. and with uptown top ranking at stake. i mean even if you've already got it it's the perfect gift. and anyway it's not the prize it the goddamn winning that counts. and i've never won a single thing in all my days so i should know.

so todays clue. i know it's a bit random but this is a lot trickier than it looks you know...

it's studio ones very one child star the cool operator delroy wilson (only the song is from when he was more grown up, i just love this picture)
delroy wilson - i don't know why

i hope that helps - there'll be another tomorrow
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why are there easter bunnies and eggs and stuff ?

last year there was a bit of media hoo hah about easter and no one knowing what it was all about and how we were all a national disgrace and stupid scum and whatnot so this year to save you any embarrassment when the daily mail pop round to quiz you i thought i'd fill you in on all the top facts. i mean easter is tricky (not like christmas which is easy - it's father christmas's birthday so it's called christmas, stupid) but my understanding of it is that there was this jesus kid who could do miracles and he didn't like eggs so he turned them into chocolate when his mum wasn't looking and he had a pet rabbit cos he liked rabbits but one day the rabbit got in the way when he was turning an egg to chocolate and the bunny got turned to chocolate by accident and then later on some blokes killed jesus and put him in a cave but like in ET and the terminator and that he wasn't really dead but he couldn't get out of the cave cos there was a boulder in the way so he turned the boulder into a chocolate egg and ate it so he could get out so thats how we get easter eggs and chocolate bunnys and stuff. and the fish get the money... (stan laurel taught me everything i know)



anyway...bunnies and chocolate and jesus and that...

in 1981 the thing i most wanted to go to was the echo and the bunnymen shine so hard thing in the middle of bloomin' nowhere with derek jarman films and all sorts but none of my little pals had a car and there wasn't a bus from preston so i had to settle with a poster for it and the eps worth of stuff that got released that my little sister robbed off me

echo and the bunnymen - crocodiles (live)

i thought i'd have loads of tunes about chocolate what with it being so universally adored and all but i don't. well i never. i've got this though from the monday nights dancing to the same records every week at norman jays thing at the bass clef when hoxton was still shoreditch and the london apprentice had the scariest dark room ever (you don't want to know really you don't)

chocolate milk - action speaks louder than words

and who wouldn't like someone who could turn stuff into chocolate and booze (although there was that thing with the bunny which was a bit careless and there's all those funny folk who say they like him but are generally horrid about pretty much everything else and there's some frankly bizarre god business (what the hell's that about...)

a tramp and an orchestra and gavin bryars and tom waits - jesus blood never failed me yet

i hope that all helps
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holiday fun

okay so it's freezing cold and pissing down and western society as we know it is just about to crumble (hell all those twos and ones i've being saving up for my retirement are going to be worth nothing, nothing i tell you. arse) but that doesn't mean we can't have fun. intros detecting fun. the mrs was in the bath when i cobbled this lot together so there's no mercy this time no-one telling me they'll never get that and oh don't be so rotten. i was nearly very rotten but i changed my mind cos i love you all dearly.

and there's a prize. a proper little bobby dazzler of a 45. an uptown top ranking by althea and donna kind of prize. this very record here ...



intros competition number two

all you have to do is guess the intros and email the answers to me at yahoo.co.uk
let us know how many you got in the tittivations bit but remember not to give the answers away. we'll give it a week or so and maybe some clues if you're stuck and then some clever blighter will have a lovely vinyl present in the post. fantabulosa.
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i wouldn't normally do this sort of thing...

...what with trying to be all exotic and international woman of mysteryey and all but there could be rare tunnocks tea cakes at stake and besides anne at i like asked and i love i like so here goes nothing...

it's supposed to be some kind of 4x4 thing but you know how vague things get round here so it might be a bit messier

4 jobs i've had

get a job? have you lost your bleedin' marbles? i'm not about to turn in my arthur daley fan club card just yet my dears. i did accept the dirty wage packet of the man once long ago but only the once and never again

football results carrier - saturdays throughout my teenage years were spent in the bowels of the lancashire evening post building next to the tele tape machine waiting for football titbits to pop out for me to deliver to the other side of the building to the ridiculously pissed reporters. why they didn't just move the bloody machine is a mystery.

4 shows i never miss

i haven't got a telly so that's a bit of a non starter too. i am partial to a bit of football tittle tattle on the radio mind.

4 places i've been

the life of the entrepreneur and confidant to the stars doesn't leave much time for your actual holidays and gadding about but i do like a little trip down to the blue posts on berwick street, the lovely french house on dean street, downstairs in the phoenix is always a pleasure of course, and if i really need to get away from it all for a bit then there's the red lion on rosebery avenue

4 music artists i'm listening to

i think a troll about round here should answer that one but i am having a bit of a thing with neil diamond at the mo. not that bloody awful thing he did recently mind all johnny cash and whatnot but the boat that row and i am i said. tapes for the car (when we had a car) always include curtis mayfield, the shangri las and the buzzcocks without fail

there now that was illuminating wasn't it. i'm awful at this sort of thing. but put a large vat in front of me and i'll tell you anything


neil diamond - the boat that i row

curtis mayfield - we the people who are darker than blue

the shangri la's - train from kansas city

buzzcocks - love you more

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don't watch that watch this

so you'll all've rushed out and got the london nobody knows on bright and shining brand new dvd i know but thats no excuse to not rattle on about the lovely old thing a bit more. i mean how can anyone not rattle on about something where james mason james masons about the place tutting and sighing and being disapproving as hell. james mason is ace all round so just imagine how brilliant it is to see him trolling down chapel market or knocking on some old dears door going 'hello i'm james mason may i come in' a lot. top hole. mind you the music is bloody awful and there's way too many street entertainers all over the goddam place. forty bloody years and we've not rid our lovely city of these foul horrors. anyway while you're watching that i'm off somewhere grotty to moan about modern stuff and patronise the hell out of some poor people.
here's some clips to get you in the mood...



buy yours from these nice people
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