Friday 11 July 2008

let's get lavender!

sweet omis darling palones welcome welcome to the ever fantabulosa bona school of polari!

it's been a time and a half i know duckies but we're back we're back we're back...

for the poor dears who've been as shoddy as we have and haven't the foggiest what's going on fret not cos none of us know neither but the gist of it something like...

'fed up with not having the slightest what your modern top deckers are rattling on about ?'
'want to make catty comments about your fellow boozers without getting a punch on the nose ?'
'want to impress the ladies and wow the gents ?'
well here at the bona school we're reviving the lost art of polari - the native tongue of the louche the limp the theatrical the terrible deviant - and bringing it to you free and easy as nature probably didn't intend it one bit in alphabetical order and with a top tune as reward for all your hard graft. now doesn't that sound lovely ?
we'd just about crawled up to j last time but before we dive back in let's have a quick review of the words we've learned already and then maybe you can all have a bit of go at at showing off your

ajax - nearby or next to
aunt nells - ears
aunt nell -listen
auntie - old chap
bold - daring, outrageous, brazen
bona - good
bungery - public house
bugle - nose
cabouche - car
charper - to seek or look for
charpering omi - policeman
cod - vile
chavvies - children
and one for the more daring - clean the kitchen - rim
diddle - gin
diddle cove - off license
dolly - lovely, attractive
duckie - our favourite term of endearment
eek - face
ends - hair
eine - london
fantabulosa - wonderful
foofs - bosoms
fortuni - gorgeous
gildy - fancy
gamp - umbrella
goolie ogle fakes - sunglasses
handbag - money
heartface - dear
it - a sexual partner
joobs - bosoms
jarry - food, to eat
jogger - to play, sing, entertain
joggering omi - entertainer

which brings us right slap bang up to date and zooming off into the unknown with...k

which typically is another slighly lean one but we have got

kaffies - trousers
and for the seriously stylish - kapello - a cloak (we like a cloak round here as it goes)

hell let's go mad and do l too cos there's loads of good ones for l

is for

lally - it's your lovely legs isn't it
lappers - hands
lattie - house or flat
letty - bed
lau - to place or to put
lav - which with bona gives you bona lavs - best wishes

i hope that's not all going to be too much for you my dolly little dears and that you forgive our shoddy shambles of a keeping up effort. have some tunes to keep you going...

k can only be for kenny and you know it

kenny rogers - lucille

and an extra folk funk (one of my favourite genre combinations as it goes) classic

kenny rankin - in the name of love

and i've been waiting for ever for l to come round so we can have the super special extra delicious mr little anthony and the imperials. only precious beauty could ever come from from a record adorned with such a name. for you - a dancer and a weeper...

little anthony and the imperials - better use your head

little anthony and the imperials - hurt so bad

and finally to help you along with you new and fabulosa skills - a demonstration by the experts. listen and learn children... and show off in the box provided.

julian and sandy - keep britain bona



davyh said...

I missed it, for one.

Could we have a whole week of Julian & Sandy one day, do you think?

Or an anthology of Humph's best doubles?

'I'm behind the working man'...Genius x

Anonymous said...

Fantabulosa indeed. Knocked me off me lallies.

Where have you been hiding Kenny Rankin? Loved that to bits. It's a Callier-ish sort of tune but his singing style reminded me of Jose Feliciano. Don't you reckon?

And that's one of the funniest Julian and Sandys I've heard. My innuendo meter exploded about half way through.

Mondo said...

Did I read some of these in Clockwork Orange, or am I just getting confused?

PS there's some folk/funk here if you fancy it.

ally. said...

davy - yes we can duckie

spud - pleasure heartface - kenny rankin's silver morning lp is worth a look if you see it around but this is by far the best thing he's done. i hope you're recovering from all that running about - well done you x

pm - the clockwork orange stuff is similar but different i think - i remember them using nochy but i think that's about it. and ta ever so as usual for the tunes - top hole dear boy